THE SECRET VAMFEM FILES

Inside the vampire forum women were never supposed to see The email arrived at 2:17 in the morning. No greeting. No signature. No explanation of who had sent it. Only one sentence. You keep publishing the version humans are comfortable reading. Try ours. Attached was a compressed archive containing 146 screenshots, eleven text files, three short screen recordings and what appeared to be fragments of an invitation-only vampire forum associated—not officially, as far as we can establish—with women who apply through VamFem.com . INSIDER was not given a password. We were not given a login. We do not have access to the forum. We cannot browse it. We cannot search it. We cannot determine how many members it has, who owns it, how long it has existed or whether the material sent to us represents ordinary conversation or the most outrageous material somebody could collect. What we received was a leak. A carefully selected one. And whoever selected it wanted humans to see vampires without the polished interviews, expensive clothes, magazine photography and carefully chosen words. One text file contained this: You want honesty? Fine. We talk about them. Of course we talk about them. You would too. The screenshots all appeared to come from a place members repeatedly called: THE BACK ROOM The interface itself was unremarkable. Dark background. Silver lettering. Usernames. Time stamps. Reaction icons. Thread counts. Nothing looked particularly shocking until we began reading the titles. IF YOU LIKE LEGS SHE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE HER PICTURES SUNRISE GIRLS — ACTUAL ONES FANG CHASER OF THE MONTH SHE BROUGHT A SUITCASE WHO LET HER WEAR THAT? IF YOU WANT A QUICK ONE BETTER THAN THE PROFILE DO NOT LET THE SMALL ONE FOOL YOU PERMANENT BEFORE DESSERT SOMEONE PLEASE TALK TO THIS WOMAN And one that appeared to have been running for years: WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING? The women being discussed were rarely identified by name. They did not need to be. The vampires used VamFem applicant numbers. THE WOMEN CANNOT SEE ANY OF THIS That distinction matters. Women using VamFem.com cannot browse other applicants. They cannot compare themselves with other women. They cannot see who is being chosen. They cannot read vampire discussions. They cannot contact another applicant through the system. They see their own profile. Their own photographs. Their own activity. And, if it happens, the message every applicant waits for: You have been chosen. The vampires see considerably more. And apparently, some of them talk about what they see. A lot. THE RULES OF THE BACK ROOM One leaked screenshot appeared to come from a pinned post for new members. The top had been cropped. So had the bottom. What remained included several rules. Applicant numbers only. No real names. No home addresses. No workplace addresses. No identifying children, relatives or uninvolved humans. No feeding photographs. No blood photographs. No full private-message dumps. No posting a permanent girlfriend without her permission. Then: If she is currently unavailable through VamFem, she is unavailable. Stop asking why. That line is important. VamFem's dating system does not permit the free-for-all some outsiders imagine. Once a woman has accepted a date, she cannot simultaneously accept another vampire for the same time. There is no auction. No bidding war. No queue of vampires fighting over Saturday night. If a vampire enjoys the first encounter enough to want another, she can arrange a second date. Until that date is completed or released, the woman is not simply sitting there waiting for somebody else to steal her. The Back Room reflects that. The vampires do not compete for applicants. They talk about them. They recommend them. They warn one another. And sometimes they absolutely roast them. “FANG CHASER” One term appears constantly. Fang chaser. The meaning is not subtle. A woman who is more interested in getting a vampire than getting to know the particular vampire who chose her. One thread: DEFINITELY A FANG CHASER MaraNocturne: VF-74018 asked to touch my fangs before she asked my name. Velours: Efficient. MaraNocturne: She knew my name from the selection. Velours: Then technically she didn't need to ask. MaraNocturne: You're missing the point. Another vampire: CountessGrey: Did she ask about coffins? MaraNocturne: Within ten minutes. Velours: Bat question? MaraNocturne: Twenty-three minutes. CountessGrey: Strong showing. Then: MaraNocturne: Asked if I could turn her. Velours: Before dinner? MaraNocturne: We were still in the car. “DESSERT FIRST” Another common expression: Dessert first. It describes women who make it obvious that dinner, drinks, conversation and the rest of the evening are obstacles between them and what they actually came for. One thread: DESSERT FIRST — VERY FIRST ScarletRoom: VF-55190. CountessK: Report. ScarletRoom: We made it through the lobby. CountessK: That's not dinner. ScarletRoom: I noticed. VelvetDeath: Drinks? ScarletRoom: No. CountessK: Conversation? ScarletRoom: “We both know why I'm here.” VelvetDeath: At least she's honest. ScarletRoom: I had a reservation. CountessK: She didn't care? ScarletRoom: She looked offended by the existence of the restaurant. Another vampire entered: SilverMara: Same woman? ScarletRoom: You know her? SilverMara: She canceled my dinner reservation from my phone while I was in the restroom. There were dozens of laughing reactions. Then: ScarletRoom: That's almost impressive. OldBlood: No. That's rude. “IF YOU WANT A QUICK ONE” The language becomes rougher in other threads. One title: IF YOU WANT A QUICK ONE AND DON'T FEEL LIKE SPENDING MONEY RedSilk: VF-61802. Pretty. Eager. Doesn't want dinner. Doesn't want champagne. Doesn't want the club. MourningStar: Fang chaser? RedSilk: Olympic division. MourningStar: How fast? RedSilk: Car to room in eleven minutes. MourningStar: Eleven? RedSilk: Elevator was slow. Someone added: LiviaDark: Conversation? RedSilk: You're adorable. Then: NightGarden: Stop describing women like takeout. RedSilk: Oh, come on. NightGarden: “Quick one.” “Doesn't cost anything.” You sound disgusting. RedSilk: She literally refused dinner. NightGarden: That does not make her a coupon. A few minutes later: RedSilk: Fine. Fair.** The moderator later added: Enthusiastic does not mean available for ridicule. SOME OF THEM WANT TO BECOME PERMANENT SO BADLY IT HURTS The Back Room appears fascinated by women who make no secret of wanting to become permanent girlfriends. Not because vampires admire the ambition. Usually the opposite. One leaked title: PERMANENT BEFORE DESSERT SableNight: VF-70381. Beautiful. Smart. Funny. Absolutely impossible. Lysandra: Why? SableNight: Asked if I'd ever considered a permanent human before the main course arrived. VelvetRuin: That's fast. SableNight: Then told me she understood what vampires need. Lysandra: That's never followed by anything good. SableNight: Correct. A pause. Then: SableNight: She took her panties off under the table and put them in my hand.** The replies came almost immediately. VelvetRuin: NO. Lysandra: At dinner? SableNight: That is generally what “under the table” implies. VelvetRuin: Public restaurant? SableNight: Very. CountessGrey: Please tell me you are making this up. SableNight: I wish. Then: Lysandra: What did you do? SableNight: Put them in my handbag and finished my steak. VelvetRuin: YOU FINISHED DINNER? SableNight: It was an excellent steak. That comment drew hundreds of reactions. Then an older account entered. OldBlood: And there is the problem. SableNight: Which part? OldBlood: She thinks permanent means proving she will do anything sexually. Lysandra: Exactly. OldBlood: Which tells you she has no idea what permanent means. “SHE THINKS WE ONLY WANT ONE THING” This comes up repeatedly. Women trying to impress vampires sexually sometimes appear to damage their chances of being taken seriously. One discussion: NightGarden: Why do some of them think trying to get under the table before dessert improves their odds of being kept? Seraphine: Movies. Velours: VDM. Seraphine: Vampire Dating Magazine has published approximately nine thousand articles saying the opposite. Velours: Nobody reads those parts. Another: OldBlood: A woman trying that hard is usually performing for a vampire she invented in her head. Then: Mireille: If any vampire would do, none of us should do. That line had been quoted in several other threads. “SOMEONE PLEASE TALK TO HER” One of the leaked applicants appeared repeatedly. VF-88271. The first thread mocked her. The second stopped being funny. SOMEBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN 88271 BlackRose: Chose her Friday. Ravenna: And? BlackRose: Gorgeous. Great dress. Good conversation for twenty minutes. Ravenna: Then? BlackRose: Then apparently she decided conversation was delaying promotion. Velours: Promotion? BlackRose: Perma-girl. Ravenna: Ah. BlackRose: By the time entrées arrived she was almost under the table. Velours: Literally? BlackRose: Close enough that the waiter stopped looking at me. Ravenna: 😂 BlackRose: NOT FUNNY. Velours: Slightly funny. Then another vampire joined. SilverMara: She did it with me too. BlackRose: Seriously? SilverMara: Hotel bar. Didn't finish the martini. Ravenna: Maybe she hates drinks. SilverMara: Told me: “I know what I have to do if I want you to keep me.” That changed the thread. OldBlood: There it is. Mireille: Has anyone actually asked her where she got that idea? Nobody had. Later: Mireille: I spoke to her. Velours: And? Mireille: Her first vampire told her she would never become permanent unless she made herself “useful enough.” Several replies appeared immediately. OldBlood: Who? Mireille: Not putting the name here. BlackRose: Someone from here? Mireille: Yes. Then: OldBlood: Moderator.** The next screenshot showed: MODERATOR: If you know who said this to VF-88271, message me privately. Do not contact the applicant directly about this. Mireille is handling it. Velours: Is she okay? Mireille: Mortified. BlackRose: I feel like an asshole. Mireille: Good. Remember the feeling.** WHAT THEY WEAR IS ABSOLUTELY FAIR GAME If the leaked screenshots are representative, vampires can be vicious fashion critics. One thread appears to have been called: WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING? A photograph showed an applicant in a silver sequined minidress, enormous faux-fur coat and glitter platforms. Comment: Disco ball escaped containment. Reply: Still chose her. Answer: Obviously. Another: Nocturne88: VF-66211 arrived at Aurelia in a dress the size of a washcloth. CountessK: Aurelia has a dress code. Nocturne88: Aurelia now has emotional damage. Another user: VelvetDeath: Shoes? Nocturne88: Six-inch glitter platforms. CountessK: Respect. Then: ScarletRoom: She looked like she expected a pole to descend from the ceiling.** Laughing reactions followed. Then another member: Marcelline: She was nervous and dressed how she thought vampires wanted her to dress. Ease up. Pause. Nocturne88: Fair. Then: Nocturne88: Shoes remain criminal.** THE GOTH GIRL One fashion thread became unexpectedly uncomfortable. A photograph showed a visibly nervous woman wearing an elaborate black gothic dress, heavy eye makeup, velvet choker and lace gloves. The first comment: NightGlass: Human Vampire Starter Kit. Another: Velours: Did she buy the entire internet? Then: Mireille: Delete this. NightGlass: Why? Mireille: I know her. NightGlass: So? Mireille: Her husband spent twelve years telling her nobody else would ever want her. She bought the outfit because she thought it would make her attractive to us. Nothing appeared for almost nine minutes. Then: NightGlass: Deleted. Another vampire: ScarletRoom: Is she okay? Mireille: Better. Velours: Chosen again? No response appeared in that screenshot. Weeks later, in another leaked thread, VF-64419 appeared again. Mireille: Second date. Blue dress. No costume. Couldn't stop smiling.** THEY TALK ABOUT BODIES They do. Bluntly. Height. Weight. Chest. Waist. Hips. Legs. Hair. Feet. Faces. Whether someone is athletic. Whether she is soft. Whether she is curvy. Whether she looks better sitting, standing, walking or smiling. One thread: IF YOU LIKE CURVY CrimsonJane: Looking for curvy. Confident. Not easily intimidated. VelvetRuin: VF-66109. CrimsonJane: Photos accurate? VelvetRuin: Better. CrimsonJane: Chest? VelvetRuin: You have eyes. CrimsonJane: Photos lie. ScarletRoom: Not those. CrimsonJane: Legs? ScarletRoom: Very good. CrimsonJane: Personality? VelvetRuin: Takes ten minutes to warm up. Then impossible to shut up. CrimsonJane: Good impossible? VelvetRuin: Excellent impossible. Another: OLD-FASHIONED BOMBSHELL DarkViolet: Big chest. Small waist. Feminine. Not twenty-two. Ravenna: Subtle request. DarkViolet: I know what I like. MaraNocturne: VF-55018. DarkViolet: Photos accurate? MaraNocturne: Yes. DarkViolet: Personality? MaraNocturne: Better than the body. Then: MaraNocturne: Also, you people talk about women like you're ordering custom furniture. DarkViolet: I asked a question. MaraNocturne: You asked for measurements with a pulse.** “LEGS. THAT'S IT.” One of the least subtle threads in the leak: LEGS. THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE REQUEST. LongNightLucy: Suggestions. ScarletRoom: You're impossible. LongNightLucy: Correct. ScarletRoom: VF-72011. LongNightLucy: Seen. Velours: VF-77144. Pause. LongNightLucy: Explain. Velours: 5'10". Former volleyball player. Black dress photo doesn't remotely show it. LongNightLucy: City? Velours: Chicago. LongNightLucy: Fine. CountessGrey: Are we not even pretending personality matters now? LongNightLucy: It matters after the legs. CountessGrey: Horrible. LongNightLucy: Honest. THEIR PHOTOS ARE JUDGED TOO One section appears devoted almost entirely to profile photographs. Not always kindly. FILTER CRIMES LiviaDark: VF-77320. Attractive woman. Absolutely not the woman in the profile. Ravenna: Old photos? LiviaDark: Some. Mostly filters. Ravenna: Did you say anything? LiviaDark: Of course not. Another: SilverMara: Mine somehow gave herself an entirely different nose. VelvetRuin: Technology is miraculous. Another: NocturneM: VF-61992 is at least four inches shorter than stated. CountessGrey: How did she hide four inches? NocturneM: Every picture apparently taken from the basement. But some women receive the opposite assessment. One post: Her profile photos are garbage. Somebody take the phone away from her. She's stunning. Reply: Already did. What? Second date. Took new ones for her. “PROFILE PRINCESS” Another private term: Profile princess. A woman constantly updating her profile photographs, wardrobe and description in an apparent attempt to maximize her chances of selection. One thread: Velours: VF-81002 uploaded another photo shoot. Ravenna: How many photos? Velours: Thirty-four. ScarletRoom: Business suit. Cocktail dress. Leather skirt. Sundress. Gym. Evening gown. Jeans. Bikini. Velours: Apron. Ravenna: Apron? Velours: No idea who she's hunting with that one. Later: CountessGrey: Anyone actually chosen her? Velours: Twice. Ravenna: And? Velours: Completely different from the profile. Ravenna: Worse? Velours: Better. Quiet. Funny. Embarrassed by the whole production. CountessGrey: Then why make it? Velours: Sister did most of it. A pause. Then: Ravenna: Well now I feel mean.** SUNRISE GIRLS Another phrase appears often: Sunrise girl. Not simply a woman who remains overnight. A woman who still has energy, enthusiasm and a sense of humor when morning arrives. One thread: ACTUAL SUNRISE GIRLS — NO BULLSHIT CrimsonJane: Real sunrise. Not “she stayed awake until two and had coffee.” MaraNocturne: VF-59082. CrimsonJane: Details. MaraNocturne: Dinner 8:30. Penthouse 11. Curtains opened at 7:04. CrimsonJane: And? MaraNocturne: She complained. CrimsonJane: About what? MaraNocturne: That sunrise meant the night was over. Another vampire: VelvetDeath: Confirmed. CrimsonJane: You've seen her too? VelvetDeath: Months ago. CrimsonJane: Why did nobody recommend her? MaraNocturne: Some information has value.** THREE-HOUR GIRLS The opposite term is considerably rougher. A three-hour girl is apparently someone who arrives boasting about how much she can handle and then discovers that confidence is not stamina. One thread: PLEASE STOP SAYING “I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING” Nocturne88: VF-77115 told me she was unlimited. CountessK: Famous last words. Nocturne88: 12:41. CountessK: Started? Nocturne88: 10:05. CountessK: Oh. Velours: Sleeping? Nocturne88: Like she'd been tranquilized. Then: Marcelline: She's human. Nocturne88: I know. Marcelline: Then stop sounding offended that humans sleep. Nocturne88: She challenged me. Marcelline: And you accepted a stamina challenge from a 120-pound accountant. Pause. Nocturne88: You make me sound stupid. Marcelline: I am describing events.** “IF YOU LIKE TO WEAR THEM OUT” One title will likely anger applicants more than most. IF YOU LIKE TO WEAR THEM OUT The discussion beneath it is crude but revealing. VelvetRuin: VF-60019. High energy. Competitive. Refuses to admit she's tired. CrimsonJane: Actual sunrise? VelvetRuin: Yes. CrimsonJane: Petite? VelvetRuin: Yes. CrimsonJane: Seriously? VelvetRuin: Stop judging endurance by size. Another: MaraNocturne: VF-77218 if you prefer athletic. CrimsonJane: How athletic? MaraNocturne: Enough that if you turn it into a contest, that's your mistake. Then: OldBlood: Reminder: “can handle a lot” does not mean ignore common sense. CrimsonJane: I know. OldBlood: Writing it for the newer members.** SOMETIMES THE VAMPIRE LOSES One of the reasons these threads remain funny rather than purely degrading is that the applicants are not always the punch line. A thread: YOU EXAGGERATED CrimsonJane: VF-60019. VelvetRuin: What about her? CrimsonJane: You called her impossible to wear out. VelvetRuin: I did. CrimsonJane: Exaggeration. VelvetRuin: You chose her? CrimsonJane: Yes. VelvetRuin: Specifically because I wrote that? CrimsonJane: Maybe. Then: VelvetRuin: Well? Seven minutes passed. CrimsonJane: I withdraw my objection. Velours: 😂 VelvetRuin: Sunrise? CrimsonJane: Do not speak to me. Velours: SHE WON. CrimsonJane: THERE WAS NO COMPETITION. Velours: Sounds like something the loser would say.** “BETTER THAN HER PROFILE” This appears to be one of the more positive recurring categories. The vampires praise women for things profiles cannot show. Movement. Voice. Humor. Presence. Confidence. Kindness. One post: Photos are maybe a six. Woman walks into the room and she's a nine. No idea how that works. Another: She smiles with her entire face. Profile doesn't capture it. Another: Not my physical type at all. Selected because she wrote three paragraphs about restoring furniture. Zero regrets. And one that received hundreds of reactions: Not the prettiest woman I've chosen. The only one I kept thinking about three weeks later. THE ONE WHO WANTS A VAMPIRE — ANY VAMPIRE This appears to be the line vampires most dislike. One thread: IF YOU WANT TO BE WORSHIPPED Velours: VF-91804. Ravenna: Fang chaser? Velours: Severe. Ravenna: How severe? Velours: Called me “my lady.” Ravenna: Once? Velours: Three times. ScarletRoom: Keeper hunter? Velours: Obviously. Then: Ravenna: Permanent material? Velours: No chance. ScarletRoom: Why? Velours: She doesn't want me. She wants a vampire. OldBlood later added: The quickest way to make yourself irrelevant is to make it clear any one of us would do. THEN THERE ARE THE WOMEN THEY PROTECT The leak changes tone abruptly whenever danger enters the picture. One thread: DO NOT CONTACT VF-77128 DIRECTLY Mireille: Former partner has access to one of her old email accounts and may be monitoring messages. CountessGrey: VamFem knows? Mireille: Yes. OldBlood: Current location? Mireille: Not posting that here. OldBlood: Good. Another: Seraphine: Does she need somewhere safe? Mireille: Already handled. Then: MODERATOR: No jokes. No location speculation. Useful information goes to Mireille privately.** Another thread: WATCH THE EX CountessGrey: VF-70211 says he's harmless. Mireille: They always say that until he isn't. CountessGrey: He waited outside her workplace yesterday. Immediately: OldBlood: Security notified? CountessGrey: Yes. ScarletRoom: She have another date scheduled? CountessGrey: Yes. Mireille: Change pickup. CountessGrey: Already done. Then: OldBlood: Make sure she knows enough to make her own decisions. Protection is not ownership.** THE MARRIED WOMEN Married applicants generate their own problems. One thread: HUSBAND DOESN'T KNOW Mireille: VF-66128 disclosed tonight that she's married. Velours: Separated? Mireille: “Emotionally.” OldBlood: Not a recognized legal status. CountessGrey: Husband know about VamFem? Mireille: No. Then: Velours: Trouble. Mireille: Potentially. Another: ScarletRoom: Why is this our problem? OldBlood: Because husbands who discover their wives disappearing with vampires rarely respond with philosophical calm. AND SOMETIMES THEY ARE SAVING A WOMAN BEFORE SHE KNOWS SHE NEEDS SAVING One screenshot came from a thread labeled: SHE NEEDS A NIGHT A photograph showed a woman alone in a hotel lounge. The caption: VF-81127. Husband left after twenty-two years. First profile edit tonight. Deleted three pictures because she thinks she looks old. She doesn't. Somebody kind choose her. Responses: Where? Boston. Too far. Then: Mireille: I'll take her. Four hours later: Mireille: Picked her up.** The next afternoon: Mireille: Whoever posted this — thank you. She laughed again.** No jokes followed. Only reactions. SOME WOMEN BECOME KNOWN Because vampires recommend applicants to one another, some account numbers appear repeatedly. Not because the women know they are competing. They are not. Not because vampires are fighting over them. They are not. They become known because one vampire has an experience and later tells another: If that is your type, choose her when she is available. One thread: CrimsonJane: Looking for funny, curvy, confident. Mireille: VF-74420. CrimsonJane: You've seen her? Mireille: Yes. CrimsonJane: Good? Mireille: Better than good. A later screenshot: CrimsonJane: 74420 report. Mireille: Well? CrimsonJane: You undersold her. That is how reputations appear to spread. Quietly. One private recommendation at a time. “SHE ASKED WHY SHE KEEPS GETTING CHOSEN” One screenshot may be among the most consequential in the entire leak. CountessGrey: VF-74420 asked me something uncomfortable. Velours: What? CountessGrey: Why vampires suddenly seem interested in her. Mireille: What did you say? CountessGrey: Told her the profile was working. Mireille: Did she change it? CountessGrey: No. Silence. Then: OldBlood: Eventually somebody is going to realize we talk.** THE WOMEN NEVER KNEW THEY HAD REPUTATIONS Perhaps that is the central revelation in the leaked files. An applicant may believe every selection begins with a vampire discovering her profile independently. Sometimes it does. Sometimes a vampire has already heard: She's funnier than she looks. The photos don't do her justice. Don't let the shyness fool you. If you like long legs, you're welcome. Do not challenge that one unless you're prepared to lose. She wants a vampire more than she wants you. Be gentle with her. Watch the husband. Avoid the ex. Give her another chance. Someone needs to talk to her. Or simply: Trust me. Pick this one. The women cannot see those conversations. Until now. THE LEAKER'S FINAL MESSAGE The last text file in the first package contained only six lines. Yes, some of us are cruel. Yes, some of us are filthy. Yes, some of us laugh. Sometimes we protect them. Sometimes we understand them before they understand themselves. Then one final sentence: And if you think this is invasive, wait until you see what we say when one of them gets invited back.