Concerned woman embraces her distressed friend — AI art by @faerierealm

Unleashed

Please don't lump all men together, it's not fair. I was raised to open doors, walk on the street side of the sidewalk, do the heavy lifting, put the seat down... basic gentleman behavior. I've said before I feel like I'm from an earlier age with different ideals, including how women should always be treated with respect. So "some men", yes. But just "Men" in general? No. And yes, "If you see something, say something" shouldn't even have to be mentioned, it should just be the rule.

Sealine

Apologies @Unleashed just pointed out the 'Cornell 7' above news update. In my glance, I thought it was just the name of the station as most of the ones around here look something like that with the station name.

faerierealm

A valid point, Ash: Men are mostly protecting us from other men. And yes, the patriarchy uses that fear (that they created themselves) to maintain control over many elements of society. But this post isn't really criticizing men per se. Most men are actually good, decent people in my opinion, but the few bad apples out there really ruin it for everyone, and especially for the women. This post is really attacking the utter lack of empathy that the Cornell 7 case reveals--I mean, there were over 50 (!!) men in that fraternity group chat, and not one of them tried to help that poor woman. That's what is really heartbreaking about this case. Not that there are such predators among men, but that so many in that chat could ignore what was so clearly a horrific crime being committed against a single helpless woman.

faerierealm

I re-read my post just now, but don't see where it charges all men as the problem, but I'm sorry if it came across that way. To repeat what I just replied to Sealine, I agree there are many good men out there--the vast majority even, I would say, having dated several when I was younger--but there's also no denying that the few bad apples in the barrel can spoil the entire batch for some of us. I mean, there were over 50 (!!) men in that fraternity group chat, and none of them tried to help that poor woman. That's just heartbreaking, and makes me wonder how so many can be completely lacking in empathy.

DavidP

Thanks for sharing this and creating a space for discussion. I did google both 4b and Cornell 7 (like Sealine I thought it was a channel and show heading rather than a story, which is not surprising for somebody in South Africa who follows no news, local or international). I do agree with Unleashed that in the conversation all men should not be painted with the same brush. I have no idea of the stats in terms of decent men vs the perpetrators of such violations. And suppose there are moe people who may engage in cyber-bullying. One must not be silent and tacitly condone such behaviour. And two great images as always.

JustAsh

Whenever I hear about men protecting women in the modern age my first thought is, "protected from who?". Males protecting women and children is what they are using a cudgel to browbeat trans women with these days. It's what they used to browbeat African-American's with during the days of Jim Crow. It's what they use to protect the idea of the patriarchy and quite frankly I find myself astounded more and more that most women still want to be with a man at all in the current social and political climate. So again I ask, "what is exactly that men are protecting us from again?"

faerierealm

You've hit on the root cause (in my opinion), Panos: Growing wealth and income inequality. I'm Gen X, and the wealth and income gap has only gotten worse over my lifetime. The lives of so many people have become so difficult that many look for someone to blame, and to 'punch down' at those people they blame. As for 4B, it's women in South Korea who have sworn off all activity with men: dating, marriage, sex, and motherhood. There's no equivalent to it in the US, but if things like this keep happening, it could arise there as well.

panos

I don't know how it is in other countries, but here if men see behavior like that (OK, men of MY generation, at least, instanlty react) Online bulllying is something I don'r see, because I don't take part to any Social at all. I hate those things. (I don't know what 4b is and I'm NOT going to google it. I've enough with people on BOTH sides of the divide who trumpet their rotten mentalities, taking real life very bad things as an excuse to rationalize the sad fact that they're bad people themselves)

Sealine

Honestly, I just read about a recent situation on my son's college campus that is sickening. Images and videos circulating around campus that went viral on X. It is nauseating that so many guys will take advantage of young women who are intoxicated and no one speaks up and helps them. Instead the women often get blamed with people pointing out what she should/shouldn't have done. So basically, really sharing your outrage this morning. And also thankful neither of my sons ever had interest in a frat (this story involves one too).

DavidP

That Cornell case is shocking, beyond comprehension. I suppose it is everybody's choice as to how to treat the whole barrel. My first wife cheated on me, and I expect I was not the first man to experience that, but did find a good apple second time round. I do notr you said 'some of us' Each to their own, free to make the right choice for yourself. And I agree with you that the 4b is not the way to go, too extreme.