Honey, You’re Not My Type

Lyrics: Honey, You’re Not My Type

I work when I please, I leave when I’m done, I make my own rules and I still have fun. No boss on my back, no clock on the wall, And nobody tells me who’s taking the call. I’ve got a little book, but it ain’t full of hearts, Just names, bad jokes, and unreliable starts. They straighten their ties and rehearse every line, I smile like a saint and say, “Darlin’, you’re fine.” You’re not fine. But points for trying. Honey, you’re not my type, But your money spends all right. You can polish your shoes, you can practice your charm, You’re about as dangerous as a fire alarm. Honey, don’t read me wrong, I’ve been laughing all night long. You may think you’re the star when you step through my door, But I’ve heard that same line nineteen times before. The newbie comes in with his collar too tight, Says, “I’ve never done this,” then forgets how to sit right. He asks if I’m nervous—I nearly fall down, He’s sweating so hard he could water the town. He whispers, “Be gentle,” like we’re in a play, Then talks about golf for a quarter-hour straight. I nod very slowly and pour him a drink, While wondering how men survive what they think. Bless his little business socks. Honey, you’re not my type, But your money spends all right. You can polish your shoes, you can practice your charm, You’re about as dangerous as a fire alarm. Honey, don’t read me wrong, I’ve been laughing all night long. You may think you’re the star when you step through my door, But I’ve heard that same line nineteen times before. The regular enters like he owns the whole street, Same tired cologne and the same polished feet. He says, “Did you miss me?” I say, “What a surprise,” While checking the weather and rolling my eyes. He brings me red roses from down at the store, Then tells me the story he told me before. I know when he’ll brag and I know when he’ll sigh, I could mouth every sentence and never ask why. He thinks he’s mysterious. His wife knows his password. The occasional fellow arrives once a year, With birthday-cake courage and bargain-brand cheer. He says, “Let’s go wild,” then asks where to park, And calls home by nine because he’s scared of the dark. He orders champagne, reads the label out loud, Then lowers his voice when he’s feeling too proud. I send him away with his dignity whole, A lighter old wallet and peace in his soul. Now don’t call me helpless, don’t call me confused, I choose every offer and choose what’s refused. My door has a lock and my answer means no, I came here myself and myself says when to go. And when work is over, no gentleman stays, I trade all their speeches for feminine ways. A woman with laughter, good boots, and good sense— Now that is the kind who can climb my fence. Gentlemen, it was business. Ladies… now you have my attention. Honey, you’re not my type, But your money spends all right. You can puff up your chest, you can wink at the room, I’ll be home with my girlfriend by quarter past two. Honey, I run this show, I say yes, I say no. You can call me a dream, you can call me a prize, But I own my name and I set my own price. Yes, I own my name, I control my life, And the woman waiting home Is the love of my life. Same time next Thursday, Frank? Of course it is.

About this song

Cheeky upbeat country track with dry, humorous narrative lyrics following an independent, no-nonsense woman amused by the predictable, mediocre suitors that pursue her. The song features sharp, funny one-liners and a light bouncy honky-tonk energy that matches its unapologetic, playful tone.

Comments (3)

• @germancowboy · Jul 23, 2026

  AIMG AI Music Group: @archangeltara @chris70 @germancowboy @King @suga2309 Don't wanna be tagged? Click on the link to let us know: https://budgetpixel.com/blog/gc-news#comments

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