Mama, Meet My Mermaid

Lyrics: Mama, Meet My Mermaid

Well, Mama bought a ticket, Daddy packed my case, Said, “Find yourself a rich boy With a handsome face!” “A doctor or a banker With a Cadillac ride— And don’t come home without one Standing by your side!” I boarded that big ocean ship In my Sunday best, With twenty wealthy bachelors All puffing out their chests. The band had barely started, The moon was shining bright, When thunder cracked the heavens And the waves stood up to fight! The ship went rocking, rolling, Spinning like a top! The captain hollered, “Hold on tight!” But the ocean wouldn’t stop! I flew across the railing With a scream into the foam— Thinking Mama’s matchmaking Had surely sent me home! Mama, meet my mermaid, She saved me from the sea! She ain’t got a Cadillac, But she’s the girl for me! Daddy, quit your staring— Yes, that really is her tail! She carried me through forty-foot waves And one enormous gale! Mama, meet my mermaid, Put some water in the tub! She don’t drink mint juleps, But she loves a shrimp-and-crab club! You sent me out to find myself A rich and handsome man— I came home with a mermaid, So adjust your little plan! She grabbed me by the waistline Underneath the salty spray, With long red hair and emerald eyes That stole my breath away. She pulled me through the water Like a rocket through the blue, And when she pressed her lips to mine, I knew my heart was through! We spent three nights together On a tiny island shore, She sang beneath the moonlight, And I only wanted more. She showed me coral castles, Pearls and treasure by the score— So technically, dear Daddy, She’s richer than the boys next door! Mama, meet my mermaid, She saved me from the sea! She ain’t got a Cadillac, But she’s the girl for me! Daddy, quit your mumbling, She can hear you very well— And she knows a dozen sailors Who could drag you down to—well! Mama, meet my mermaid, Put some water in the tub! She don’t wear high-heeled slippers, But she sure can shake the club! You wanted me to marry Into money, class, and fame— She owns a sunken treasure chest, So quit your little game! When the rescue boat came near us, I said, “Honey, come along!” She flopped aboard beside me While the sailors sang a song. The captain dropped his coffee, And the first mate lost his hat, But she smiled and shook her tailfin, And that was pretty much that! Mama cried, “She’s dripping!” Daddy whispered, “This is strange.” I said, “She saved your only girl, So attitudes must change!” Daddy cleared his throat and said, “Well, gratitude is due.” Then Mama brought a towel and asked, “Dear, what do mermaids chew?” “Mostly shrimp!” Now she sleeps inside the swimming pool, I sleep beside the rail, Every morning she wakes me With a splash across her tail. Daddy built a saltwater pond Behind the garden gate, And Mama tells the neighbors That her daughter married great! Mama, meet my mermaid, She saved me from the sea! She ain’t got a Cadillac, But she’s the girl for me! Daddy finally likes her Since she found his missing ring, And Mama says her singing Gives the church choir quite a swing! Mama, meet my mermaid, Now the family understands! Love don’t always walk in wearing trousers, shoes, Or walking on dry land! You sent me out to find myself A rich and handsome man— I came home yelling, “Mama, meet my mermaid!” And that’s better than your plan! Mama, meet my mermaid! Daddy, fill the pool! Mama, meet my mermaid! She made your plan look foolish! Mama, meet my mermaid! She’s my ocean-loving girl! I went looking for a rich man— And came home with a pearl!

About this song

Rollicking humorous novelty country track following a protagonist who defies his parents' rich-boy matchmaking demands after falling in love with a mermaid that saved him from a stormy shipwreck. It features lively driving slap bass, twangy guitar, and rowdy boogie woogie piano backing its warm, silly seafaring romantic narrative.

Comments (2)

• @justrob · Jul 14, 2026

  so good 🔥

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