Upset senior couple sit side by side in bed — AI art by @archangeltara

JOKE OF THE DAY: An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough." "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son shouts. "We can't stand each other anymore," the old man replies. "I'm tired of seeing her face, and I'm done talking about this. Call your sister and let her know," and he hangs up. The son, now worried, calls his sister. "What? They're getting divorced?!" she exclaims. She immediately calls their father. "You are NOT getting divorced! My brother and I are flying home tomorrow to talk this through. Until then, don't call a lawyer or sign anything. DO YOU HEAR ME?" She hangs up. The old man turns to his wife and says.... An Old Couple Was Playing In Bed Until He Took Things Too Far September 27, 2026 An old man and his wife were lying quietly in bed when he passed gas and announced, “Seven points!” His wife rolled over, baffled. “What in the heck are you talking about?” He proudly explained that he was playing “fart football.” Rather than protest, she joined the competition. A few minutes later, she let one rip and declared, “Touchdown! Tie score.” He soon answered with another touchdown, putting himself ahead, 14 to 7. Determined not to lose, she promptly evened things up. Now the husband felt he had a reputation to defend. He strained with all his might, hoping to produce the winning play. Unfortunately, his body delivered something considerably worse: he accidentally soiled the bed. His wife heard the commotion and demanded, “What in the world was that noise?” Caught between embarrassment and defeat, he reached for one last football excuse: “That’s the whistle for halftime. Switch sides.”

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