The Case for Erotica - Part 2 (Self-Love)

The Case for Erotica - Part 2 (Self-Love) A Personal Health and Wellness Blog by Faerie Realm . . . Most of our blogs focus on WLW relationships, but we recognize that not all women can enjoy the presence of an intimate partner at all times. Also, those in relationships may at times find that their level of desire for 'physical release' exceeds that of their partner's libido. When that happens, there should be a healthy way to satisfy oneself that doesn't involve being intimate with someone who isn't your partner. I recently went through a period of low libido (see The Case for Erotica — Part 1), and I would have been devastated if my partner had sought physical release with another woman during that time. Fortunately, she was patient with me, and found other ways to satisfy herself until my libido recovered. BudgetPixel is a largely anonymous community, so let's speak candidly about a couple of otherwise awkward subjects: ORGASM and SELF-LOVE. And yes, in this blog we will use self-love as a euphemism for masturbation, because unfortunately the latter term often makes people (and women especially) feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. Guys have it a lot better when it comes to self-love, because while they may joke and tease each other about "chokin' the chicken," "spanking the monkey," or "jerkin' the gherkin," unless they grew up in a very religious environment, guys generally don't encounter as much social stigma about practicing self-love. Women, on the other hand, are often raised to be 'ladylike' and the idea of solo pleasuring is generally frowned upon (see Reference #1 at the end of this article), and that's unfortunate because—news flash!—orgasm has many health benefits for women. Specifically, female orgasms lower cortisol and thus reduce stress and improve sleep quality, they release endorphins that provide pain relief for things like headaches and cramps, and enhance mood through the wonders of oxytocin. They also boost immunity, improve heart health, and strengthen pelvic floor muscles. Environment is very important for women, so it can help to pick a place you associate with relaxation, such as a bathtub. It's also important to pick a time, often in the evening or on a weekend, when you won't feel rushed. Consider decorating your chosen place so it's extra comfy. My partner and I both love tea lights, which are cheap and readily available at many stores. And finally, turn off your phone or put it in Do-Not-Disturb mode so you can focus on yourself! Those who hesitate because of lingering guilt from an upbringing that shamed such activities, keep in mind you don't have to bring yourself all the way to orgasm to enjoy some of the benefits. Self massage is also therapeutic, or if you can afford it, massage by an actual masseuse. We're not therapists and can't relieve all of the shame caused by an overly puritanical upbringing, but what we can do is supply some visual aids in our blogs to help with one's self-love endeavors. And yes, we fully recognize that guys will utilize these images as well, and that's okay because self-love has health benefits for men as well: According to a recent Harvard study (Reference #4), male masturbation significantly lowers the risk of prostate cancer. Our earlier "The Case for Erotica — Part 1 (Relationship Benefits)" makes additional arguments for erotic images such as these, so we won't rehash that material here. Suffice to say that whereas that blog focused on relationship-care, this one focuses on self-care. Important note: According to scientific studies, approximately 10-15% of women cannot physically orgasm, so don't stress yourself out if you can't bring yourself all the way. It may help to remember: Self-love, unlike intercourse, is all about you . You don't have to please a partner, you don't have to worry about how you look or what's expected of you; you exist only for yourself, and that should feel very liberating. (And if you're in the lucky 85-90% who can, nothing more to say other than: Enjoy your solo climax!) We personally love the post-orgasm period where all the physical tension just washes out of your body, replaced by a sublime sense of peace and calm. (And again, for those who can't climax or don't want to deal with the shame or guilt, a good massage will leave you feeling similarly.) Thus, our last image is one of total relaxation: We'll close with some surprising assertions from Reference #1, which states that women who practice self-love are "more likely to have fulfilling sex lives, better health, better partnerships and marriages, and increased self-confidence." If that's true, then self-love is not only good for the individual, but good for a relationship as well. And so concludes this article. If enough people appreciate this type of blog, we may generate more in the future because, again, self-love is an important and healthy aspect of living. Until then, please enjoy our WLW blogs, which are our primary focus. And if you're interested in further information on the health and wellness benefits of self-love, we've linked below to some good articles on the topic. Enjoy! 💖 . . . Helpful articles on the topic of self-love: https://www.womenshealthnetwork.com/sexual-health/health-benefits-of-masturbation/ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/24332-masturbation https://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health-pictures/orgasms-for-a-better-life-the-surprising-benefits-of-sexual-pleasure.aspx https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/ejaculation_frequency_and_prostate_cancer . From the first reference: "Masturbation is an important and wonderful way of knowing yourself physically and emotionally. Research shows that women who masturbate are more likely to have fulfilling sex lives, better health, better partnerships and marriages, and increased self-confidence. Because of cultural taboos, many women feel that the urge or desire to masturbate is somehow wrong, or the idea of it makes them feel guilty or ashamed." . From the second reference: "Females who masturbate are more likely to have an orgasm during sexual relationships with their partners. Female masturbation can also help provide relief for menstrual cramps. In older people, masturbation may lead to less vaginal dryness and decreased pain during sexual intercourse ." . From the third reference: "Orgasms do more than feel good — they provide a range of health benefits. From boosting your mood and improving sleep to potentially strengthening your pelvic floor and heart health, regular orgasms are great for your overall well-being . Orgasms might also provide some pain relief, especially for migraines and headaches." . From the fourth reference (for men!): "Compared to men who reported 4–7 ejaculations per month across their lifetimes, men who ejaculated 21 or more times a month enjoyed a 31% lower risk of prostate cancer. In all, men who averaged 4.6–7 ejaculations a week were 36% less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer before the age of 70 than men who ejaculated less than 2.3 times a week on average."