“I Only Wanted Her Autograph. I Never Dreamed She'd Fall in Love with Me.”

ENTWINED MAGAZINE Every Love Has a Story. CHANCE ENCOUNTER Some meetings are accidental. The love stories that follow are unforgettable. The Rock Star and the Accountant One woman commands stadiums filled with screaming fans, travels the world in private jets, and earns millions performing in outfits that leave very little to the imagination. The other works quietly in an accounting office, dresses as though fashion stopped evolving twenty years ago, and once considered speaking to a famous musician the most terrifying experience imaginable. At thirty-three, Roxanne "Roxy" Blackwell is the extravagant, outspoken, spectacularly beautiful lead singer of Feral Roses , an internationally successful, all-female hard rock and heavy metal band known for its explosive concerts, outrageous stage costumes, and uncompromising music. With her wild dark hair, dramatic makeup, short denim skirts, towering platform heels, and famously provocative stage performances, Roxy has built a fortune and a reputation as one of rock music's most unpredictable personalities. At twenty-eight, Hannah Price is an accountant at a small financial services company. She is painfully shy, soft-spoken, unfailingly polite, and almost always dressed in modest blouses, cardigans, conservative skirts, and sensible shoes. She has never particularly enjoyed parties, dislikes being photographed, and would rather spend an evening organizing financial statements than making small talk with strangers. Yet Hannah has another side. For nearly ten years, she has been Feral Roses' most devoted fan. She owns every album, every special edition she could afford, and an impressive collection of autographs and concert memorabilia. Her apartment walls were once covered with photographs of Roxy, and she attended practically every Feral Roses concert within driving distance. She even collected the band's concert T-shirts, carefully preserving most of them and wearing selected favorites only when attending performances. For years, Hannah dreamed of meeting her idol. When that moment finally came, she was lying on the floor of a concert venue, bleeding, crying, and being stepped on by an overexcited crowd. Today, eighteen months later, the unlikely couple share a beautiful home, a remarkably happy relationship, and a few private secrets that Roxy is apparently incapable of keeping to herself. For our latest CHANCE ENCOUNTER interview, ENTWINED MAGAZINE visits the couple at Roxy's spectacular hillside residence to discover how a frightening accident at an autograph signing turned admiration into friendship, friendship into romance, and a shy accountant into the most important woman in a rock star's life. MAGAZINE: How did you two meet? Hannah: (Very quietly.) At one of Roxanne's concerts. Roxy: (Laughing.) Oh, sweetheart, you're going to have to give them a little more than that. Hannah: I'm sorry. Roxy: And stop apologizing, baby. You're doing fine. MAGAZINE: Hannah, we understand you've been a fan for many years? Hannah: Oh, yes. Almost ten years. I bought their first album when I was nineteen, and I've loved their music ever since. Roxy: Loved it? Darling, you practically memorized our entire recording history. Hannah: (Blushing.) Well, I do know most of the songs. Roxy: Most? She can tell you which guitar solo we changed between the European and American releases of our third album! MAGAZINE: That's impressive. Hannah: I suppose so. Roxy: She also owns things I didn't even know we'd released. MAGAZINE: How many concerts did you attend? Hannah: I kept a little notebook. Roxy: (Grinning.) Tell them, sweetheart. Hannah: Forty-seven. MAGAZINE: Forty-seven concerts? Hannah: Over nine years. Whenever they performed within a few hours of where I lived, I tried to go. Sometimes I took vacation days, and sometimes I drove home afterward so I could be at work the next morning. Roxy: She drove five hours each way to see us in Cleveland. Hannah: It was a very good concert. Roxy: (Laughing.) Baby, you say that about every concert! MAGAZINE: Had you ever met Roxy before that particular evening? Hannah: Not properly. I'd been through a few autograph lines, but there were always so many people. I never wanted to hold anyone up. Roxy: Which means she probably got thirty seconds, said thank you, and ran away. Hannah: (Blushing.) That's about right. MAGAZINE: And what happened that night? Hannah: It was the final concert of their American tour. The performance was absolutely extraordinary. They played for almost three hours, and Roxanne came back for two encores. Afterward, the band announced that they would be signing autographs near the merchandise area. I'd brought my favorite album, hoping I might get it signed. Roxy: We were already exhausted. It was one of those nights when the audience simply refused to go home. There must have been hundreds of people trying to get toward the signing tables. Hannah: I waited near the side because I didn't want to push ahead of anybody. MAGAZINE: But something went wrong? Hannah: Yes. When Roxanne came out, everybody suddenly moved forward. People were shouting, waving albums, holding up phones, trying to get photographs. I was pushed from behind. I lost my balance and fell. Roxy: (Her expression becoming serious.) And that's when everything went to hell. Hannah: I dropped my album and my handbag. I tried to get up, but people kept pushing past me. Somebody stepped on my hand. Another person caught my ankle, and then somebody knocked me back down. I couldn't get up. MAGAZINE: That sounds frightening. Hannah: It was. I was crying and asking people to stop, but the music was still playing, and everybody was shouting. Someone stepped on my shoulder, and I hit my face against the floor. My lip was bleeding, and I thought my ankle might be broken. Roxy: I saw her go down. At first, I thought she'd just stumbled, but then I realized people were practically walking over her to get to us. I slammed my hand on the signing table and yelled for everybody to back the fuck up. MAGAZINE: What did you do? Roxy: I climbed over the barrier. Hannah: (Looking at her.) You nearly fell yourself. Roxy: Yeah, well, nobody's ever accused me of being particularly graceful. I pushed through the crowd, got down beside her, and started shouting for security. She was curled up on the floor with blood on her face, trying to protect her head. And the poor girl kept apologizing. MAGAZINE: Apologizing? Roxy: Yeah. She looked up at me and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Miss Blackwell. I didn't mean to cause any trouble." Hannah: (Covering her face.) Oh, please don't tell them that. Roxy: Sweetheart, you were bleeding on a concrete floor, and you were worried about inconveniencing me! Hannah: I was rather embarrassed. Roxy: I told her, "Honey, you haven't done a damn thing wrong. We're getting you out of here." MAGAZINE: What happened afterward? Hannah: Roxanne helped me into a chair, and security brought a wheelchair because my ankle was hurting. She insisted that I be taken backstage where the band's medical staff could examine me. Roxy: Our tour medic cleaned her cuts and checked her ankle. Fortunately, nothing was broken, but she had a nasty sprain, a split lip, and bruises everywhere. Hannah: My glasses were bent, too. Roxy: She looked absolutely miserable. MAGAZINE: Was she excited about meeting you? Roxy: That's the funniest part. She barely said a word. She kept sitting there in this little cardigan and sensible skirt, hands folded in her lap, looking as though she'd been summoned to the principal's office. Hannah: I was sitting in Roxanne Blackwell's dressing room! Roxy: (Laughing.) And she still called me Miss Blackwell. MAGAZINE: When did you realize how devoted a fan she was? Roxy: When my assistant brought in her handbag and the album she'd dropped. The album was one of our earliest limited-edition releases. The cover was damaged from being stepped on, and Hannah looked more upset about that than about her own injuries. Hannah: I'd saved for months to buy it. Roxy: So I asked her whether she liked the band. Hannah: (Laughing.) You asked whether I'd heard of Feral Roses! Roxy: And she looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Hannah: I told her I had every album. Roxy: Then she started naming them. All of them. In order. Including the obscure live recordings. I nearly fell off my chair. MAGAZINE: Did you sign her album? Roxy: Of course. All five of us signed it. But I also had my assistant find her a replacement copy, along with a few other things. Hannah: She gave me a whole bag of merchandise. Roxy: She kept trying to refuse it. Hannah: I didn't want her to think I'd fallen deliberately to get attention. Roxy: (Shaking her head.) That's when I realized this girl was genuinely different. MAGAZINE: How did that one encounter turn into something more? Hannah: I thought that was the end of it. A wonderful, if rather painful, memory. Roxy: But I wanted to make sure she was all right. Before she left, I asked whether my assistant could contact her the next day. Hannah agreed. Hannah: I thought somebody from the band's office would call. MAGAZINE: But? Hannah: Roxanne called me herself. Roxy: She answered the phone and said, "Good evening, Miss Blackwell." Hannah: I was nervous! Roxy: I said, "Hannah, sweetheart, if you don't start calling me Roxy, I'm going to feel about ninety years old." MAGAZINE: What did you talk about? Hannah: My ankle at first. Then music, work, and what I was doing that weekend. Roxy: She told me she was an accountant. I asked whether she enjoyed it, expecting her to say something polite. And suddenly she started talking about numbers, financial statements, and helping people understand their businesses. Her whole face changed. Hannah: I do love my work. Roxy: I could tell. She was passionate about it. Not in a loud, showy way. She just genuinely cared about doing something well. MAGAZINE: And you called again? Roxy: The next evening. And the evening after that. Eventually we were talking for hours. Hannah: Sometimes until two in the morning. Roxy: She had to be at work at eight. I kept telling her to go to bed. Hannah: But I didn't want to hang up. Roxy: Neither did I. MAGAZINE: When did the relationship become romantic? Hannah: We talked for almost three months before our first proper date. Roxy: I was touring overseas for part of that time. We spoke almost every evening, but I wanted to meet her somewhere quiet when I returned. MAGAZINE: Did you find it difficult to separate the fan from the woman? Roxy: At first, yes. I knew she admired me, and I didn't want to take advantage of that. I wanted Hannah to know me as a person, not just as the woman she'd watched on stage for ten years. Hannah: And she wanted me to stop calling her amazing. Roxy: (Laughing.) Every time I told a joke, she'd say, "Oh, you're amazing." I'd tell her I burned breakfast, and she'd say, "That's amazing." Hannah: I wasn't quite that bad! Roxy: Baby, you once thanked me for calling you. Hannah: (Blushing.) I remember. Roxy: I told her, "Sweetheart, you don't have to thank me for wanting to talk to you." MAGAZINE: What was your first date like? Hannah: Terrifying. Roxy: (Laughing.) Thanks, darling! Hannah: Not because of Roxanne. Because I had absolutely no idea what to wear. MAGAZINE: What did you choose? Hannah: A navy-blue skirt, a white blouse, a cardigan, and my nicest black flats. Roxy: She looked adorable. Hannah: And Roxanne arrived wearing a tiny denim skirt, a spectacular leather jacket, and the highest heels I'd ever seen. MAGAZINE: A striking contrast. Roxy: Oh, we turned heads. I took her to a little Italian restaurant where the owner knew me and gave us a private table. Hannah: I spent the first twenty minutes worrying about which fork to use. Roxy: I told her if she wanted to eat pizza with her hands, she damn well could. Hannah: (Laughing.) Which helped enormously. MAGAZINE: Who made the first move? Roxy: I did. Hannah: (Smiling.) She asked permission. MAGAZINE: To kiss you? Hannah: Yes. We were outside my apartment, and she'd walked me to the door. She said, "Hannah, I really want to kiss you, but I don't want to frighten you." Roxy: And she looked at me for about ten seconds without saying anything. Hannah: I was trying to find my voice. Roxy: Then she whispered, "Would it be terribly forward if I said I'd like that very much?" MAGAZINE: And? Roxy: I kissed her. Hannah: (Softly.) It was my first kiss with a woman. Roxy: I know, sweetheart. Hannah: And it was wonderful. MAGAZINE: Hannah, what did your friends and family think when you told them you were dating Roxanne Blackwell? Hannah: My sister thought I was joking. Roxy: (Laughing.) Oh, I remember that telephone call. Hannah: She said, "Hannah, you mean the woman whose posters you've had on your bedroom wall since college?" I said yes. Then she asked whether I was certain it wasn't some kind of misunderstanding. MAGAZINE: Were your parents supportive? Hannah: Eventually. My father was concerned about the lifestyle, and my mother worried that I might be hurt emotionally. Roxy: Which was fair enough. I'm famous, I'm loud, and I've got a reputation that doesn't exactly suggest domestic tranquility. Hannah: But they got to know her. MAGAZINE: And now? Hannah: Mother calls her Roxanne, and Father watches all her televised interviews. Roxy: Her dad came to one of our concerts wearing earplugs and a Feral Roses T-shirt. Hannah: He said it was the loudest evening of his life. Roxy: (Grinning.) He stayed for the encore. MAGAZINE: Hannah, do you still work as an accountant? Hannah: Of course. Roxy: I've tried persuading her to take a holiday for about six months. Hannah: I enjoy my job. MAGAZINE: You don't need to work financially, do you? Hannah: No, but that isn't the point. I'm good at what I do, and I like having my own responsibilities. Roxy: She absolutely refuses to let me buy her a new car. Hannah: My car is perfectly fine. Roxy: It's twelve years old! Hannah: And I've maintained it very carefully. MAGAZINE: Does Roxy ever ask for financial advice? Hannah: Occasionally. Roxy: Occasionally? She's reorganized half my personal finances! Hannah: Only because you had four accounts paying unnecessary fees. Roxy: See? This is what I live with. Hannah: (Smiling.) Someone has to look after you. Roxy: Believe me, she does. MAGAZINE: Does Hannah accompany you on tour? Roxy: Whenever she can get time off. Hannah: I still enjoy going to concerts. MAGAZINE: Do you watch from backstage now? Hannah: Sometimes. But I actually prefer watching from the audience. Roxy: (Laughing.) She's still a fan! Hannah: Of course I am. I love their music. That hasn't changed just because we're together. MAGAZINE: Do you still collect autographs? Hannah: (Blushing.) Yes. Roxy: She makes me sign every new album. MAGAZINE: You're joking. Roxy: Not a bit. We've lived together for almost a year, and she still brings me the new releases and asks whether I'd mind signing them. Hannah: They're collectibles. Roxy: (Laughing.) She actually says, "When you have a moment, would you mind?" MAGAZINE: What about the concert T-shirts? Hannah: I still collect them. I have quite a few that have never been worn. Roxy: She has an entire closet dedicated to them. Hannah: I prefer keeping them in good condition. Roxy: Meanwhile, I'm standing there thinking, "Honey, I can get you another one." Hannah: But it wouldn't be the same one. Roxy: (Smiling.) And that's why I love her. MAGAZINE: Roxy, you have a reputation for being outrageous onstage. Are you the same woman at home? Roxy: Not entirely. Onstage I'm loud, wild, and constantly moving. I can shout at twenty thousand people without getting nervous. At home, I like quiet evenings, cooking with Hannah, watching old movies, and sometimes doing absolutely nothing. MAGAZINE: And Hannah? Roxy: (Grinning mischievously.) Oh, Hannah is completely different. Hannah: (Looking suspicious.) Roxanne? Roxy: What? Hannah: Please be careful. Roxy: (Laughing.) This woman sits here looking all shy and innocent, but you should see her in bed— Hannah: ROXANNE! Roxy: (Suddenly correcting herself.) I mean at home! Completely different at home! MAGAZINE: (Laughing.) Now you've certainly made us curious. Hannah: (Turning crimson.) Oh, goodness gracious. Roxy: She's not shy at home. Not with me. She knows exactly what she wants, and she isn't afraid to say it. Hannah: Roxanne, please! Roxy: She even tells me what to do sometimes. Hannah: (Covering her face.) I cannot believe you're telling them this. MAGAZINE: So the quiet accountant isn't always quite so quiet? Roxy: (Laughing.) Oh, believe me, she can be— Hannah: Roxanne Blackwell! Hannah abruptly rises from her chair, her face bright red, and begins gathering her handbag and cardigan. Hannah: I'm terribly sorry, but I really think I should leave. Roxy: Hannah? Hannah: I agreed to talk about how we met, not about private things. Everybody at my office is going to read this, and my parents might read it, and I simply cannot... Her voice trails off as she struggles to regain her composure. MAGAZINE: Hannah, we can certainly leave that part out. Hannah: Thank you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be difficult. Roxy: Baby, look at me. Roxy stands, her expression suddenly serious, and reaches for Hannah's hand. Roxy: I'm sorry. I went too far. Hannah: I know you didn't mean anything by it, but I'm not like you. I can't just laugh about everything in front of strangers. Roxy: I know, sweetheart. Hannah: You can stand in front of thousands of people and say whatever comes into your head. I can barely speak at an office Christmas party. Roxy: (Quietly.) And that's one of the things I love about you. Hannah: But you make me sound so different from how I really am. Roxy: No, baby. I'm trying to tell them there's more to you than they see. Roxy turns toward our interviewer, still holding Hannah's hand. Roxy: You want to know something about this woman? She's not just some shy little accountant who happened to fall in love with a rock star. She's the woman who stays awake until four in the morning when I can't sleep after a concert. She's the woman who remembers my mother's birthday, makes sure my bandmates get Christmas presents, and somehow knows when I'm exhausted before I even admit it to myself. She's the woman who tells me when I'm wrong, even when everybody else is too afraid to disagree with me. She sees me without the stage lights, without the makeup, without the fans screaming my name. And she still loves me. For the first time during our interview, Roxy's voice begins to tremble. Roxy: I've got money. I've got houses, cars, awards, records on the wall, and more pairs of ridiculous shoes than any woman needs. I've played the biggest stages in the world. And none of that means a damn thing when I come home and she isn't there. Hannah: (Whispering.) Roxanne... Roxy: I mean it, baby. I can't live without her. She looks back toward us. Roxy: That's the truth. That's what I want your readers to know. I don't care whether she wears a cardigan or a leather dress. I don't care whether she's nervous at a party or confident at home. I love every single part of her. And if I have to give up every bloody interview for the rest of my life to keep her happy, I'll do it. Hannah: (Tears forming in her eyes.) Oh, Roxanne. Roxy: Come here, sweetheart. Hannah steps into her arms, and the famously outrageous rock singer holds her tightly, kissing the top of her head. Hannah: (Very softly.) You really mean that? Roxy: Every damn word. Hannah: I love you, too. Roxy: I know, baby. Hannah: And I don't want you to give up your interviews. Roxy: Good, because my manager would probably murder me. Both women laugh, and the tension finally breaks. MAGAZINE: Shall we continue, provided we stay away from private matters? Hannah: (Sitting down again.) Yes, please. And thank you. Roxy: I'll behave. Hannah: (Looking at her.) You promise? Roxy: I'll try. Hannah: Roxanne! Roxy: All right! I promise. MAGAZINE: One final question. Hannah, if you could go back to that concert eighteen months ago, knowing everything that would follow, would you change anything? Hannah: I'd certainly stay farther away from the crowd. Roxy: (Laughing.) Good answer. Hannah: But I wouldn't change meeting Roxanne. Not for anything. MAGAZINE: And Roxy? Roxy: I'd have made damn sure security did its job properly. But I'm grateful I noticed her that night. MAGAZINE: Would you have noticed her under different circumstances? Roxy: (Thinking for a moment.) I hope so. You know what's strange? I've looked back through photographs of our old concerts. She's there. In the audience. Sometimes near the front, sometimes farther back, always watching with this beautiful smile. For years, she was right there, and I never knew her name. Hannah: (Quietly.) I never imagined you would. Roxy: And now I can't imagine waking up without her. MAGAZINE: Hannah, what happened to all those photographs of Roxy on your apartment walls? Hannah: (Laughing.) They're in storage. Roxy: Most of them. MAGAZINE: Most? Roxy: She still has one framed photograph of me from our very first tour. It's on the bookshelf in our bedroom. Hannah: It was the first photograph I ever bought. Roxy: (Smiling.) And I wouldn't dream of asking her to take it down. MAGAZINE: Why not? Roxy: Because it reminds me that somewhere out there, long before I knew she existed, there was this wonderful young woman who believed in me. And now I get to spend the rest of my life believing in her. As our interview comes to an end, Hannah carefully gathers her belongings while Roxy, who has spent most of her professional life being photographed, interviewed, and applauded, quietly helps her put on her cardigan. The contrast between them remains remarkable. Roxy wears a spectacularly short denim skirt, a fitted black leather jacket, and towering platform heels, while Hannah looks as though she could be on her way to an ordinary afternoon at the accounting office. Yet as they walk toward the door, Roxy slips an arm around her girlfriend's shoulders and bends to whisper something that makes Hannah smile. MAGAZINE: One last thing, Roxy. What did you just tell her? Roxy: (Grinning.) That's private. Hannah: (Laughing.) At last! She's learning! For almost ten years, Hannah Price collected the music, photographs, concert tickets, autographs, and memories of a woman she believed she would never truly know. Today, she no longer needs to stand in an autograph line to catch a glimpse of her favorite singer. And Roxanne Blackwell, who once believed that thousands of screaming fans were the greatest reward a performer could imagine, has discovered that sometimes the most important voice in the world is the quiet one waiting for her at home. Sometimes the greatest love story begins when someone finally notices the person who's been there all along.